Dealing with anger towards a deceased loved one is a difficult task, but a very natural part of healing. We often encourage bereaved clients to “accept and express all your feelings, including the anger” as they’re able. Here is what one person anonymously submitted in hopes of healing. Remember, you are not your feelings; Your feelings come and go, if you let them go.
“My grandson believes that perhaps my husband was a romantic and explains that through bad times, a romantic embraces a vision of love and buries bad feelings. That’s what I am.
I never felt love in my early family. I married my husband for love and I’m not sure if I ever got it. I don’t know if he loved me. He wasn’t himself when he came back from the war but I took care of him like I did my family at home and picked up with him where I left off with them.
He eventually joined a profession and that helped him and kept his mind going. He was very busy. I thought I had to help him with his job so I was there for him because I’ve always felt he and my parents (and others!) couldn’t do it without me.
I helped him until the end and hated it because I wanted to be loved. It’s important, before I die, for me to understand what happened to me. I don’t want to hate him. I want to get over this. I’m not out to degrade my husband. I’m hoping this could help me (and maybe another person) get rid of anger.”
This kind of submission does not happen easily, but through the processing of many thoughts and feelings. If you struggle with anger, you are not alone. If you would benefit from in-person counseling to discuss and help process your emotions with a supportive professional, please know that the bereavement care team at Community Hospice can provide you with that compassionate care.
Community Hospice offers individual in-person counseling, support groups and telephone support. If there are other dates/times for groups that would be beneficial to you, we welcome feedback and suggestions. If you would like information on our program services, please contact the Bereavement Team at 1-800-947-7284 or email at firstname.lastname@example.org.